The Pathway to Safety
An Interview with Linda Offray, Executive Director of Shepherd’s Door
By Jenni Buchanan, for Pacific Reentry Career Services
“We are proud of every victim that comes to us seeking help; it is the first step to recovery.”
— Linda Offray
Anyone who has ever been in the business of helping others knows that we don’t do it alone. We live in an interconnected web of society, each of our individual strands touches thousands of others in subtle and obvious ways. Shepherd’s Door, the Domestic Violence Resource Center in Pasadena, California, is a strand on the web that we recently found is closely aligned to what the folks at Pacific Reentry Career Services are trying to do. Incarceration and domestic violence often live in the same neighborhood (so to speak); and in the interest of discovering where our two organizations intersect, and how we might support each other’s work, we spent some time talking to Linda Offray, Founder and Executive Director of Shepherd’s Door. She spoke to us not only about Shepherd’s Door and the services they offer, but also about her very personal experience with domestic violence, the difficult process of getting a nonprofit through its first years, and why she never gave up.
How long has Shepherd’s Door been around, and what initially inspired you to launch it?
Shepherd’s Door has been around since 2000. My daughter was a victim of teen dating violence; it was her experience, and then not being able to find resources to help at the time, being angry and upset that my daughter was being misused — all that prompted me to say “I have to do something to help and educate women!”
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Shepherd’s Door is not just for female victims of domestic violence, correct? What can you tell me about the demographic of people who come to your organization?
We predominantly work with females. In my 20 years I’ve only had 2 men come to me and admit that they were being abused. 99% of our clients are women.
I would say 50% are Latina, 30% African American, 15% Caucasian and 5% Asian. The age range is between 21 and 60 years of age. We had a recent intake who was 62, she came to us after 47 years of abuse. Income level is predominantly low-income, but some women are very successful.
We offer the women who come to us a range of services, regardless of their age or demographic, including domestic violence counseling and support groups. We just want to help with whatever they need in the moment. We are proud of every victim that comes to us seeking help; it is the first step to recovery. Even though there are many survivors of domestic violence, there’s that effect of abuse that will be with them forever. But they learn how to live with it and move on. That’s what Shepherd’s Door gives them: support forever.
Let’s talk about the intersection between Pacific Reentry Career Services and Shepherd’s Door. For victims of domestic violence, how large a shadow does prison or the criminal justice system throw?
Out of the 20 years I’ve been working with women, I’ve known 2 ladies who’ve been willing to share with me that they have done prison time for killing their abuser, although I couldn’t get them to talk too much about it at the time. But I know several women who have gone to jail because of domestic violence. In a situation where a person is being abused, and the victim finally fights back, the abuser will sometimes be the one to call the police. In these cases, if the victim left any cuts or bruises or marks as they have fought back, then the victims will go to jail for defending themselves. It may only be for a few days or weeks, but nevertheless, that’s their encounter with the system.
But there’s a whole other challenge with the legal system once a victim leaves their abuser, many abusers will now start using the system against the victim. The abusers turn around and serve the victims with custody papers after the women leave. They sue for joint or full custody. The abuser (who is often the male head-of-household and breadwinner) is able to afford legal representation, while the victim is unable able to afford to hire an attorney to fight back.
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“The workshops are together with both boys and girls. We feel they should get the same information together. It is important to teach men and women together if we want to break the cycle.”
— Linda Offray
Prevention Education is part of the mission of Shepherd’s Door; is this a challenge? Are adolescents and high schoolers your target audience? Do you find them generally receptive?
Oh yes! We work with Pasadena Unified School District. We do workshops on healthy relationships vs. unhealthy relationships, to middle and high school students. The workshops are together with both boys and girls. We feel they should get the same information together. It is important to teach men and women together if we want to break the cycle. Shepherd’s Door has been going into the schools for six years, and we love it! In 2015–2016 we were able to impart knowledge about relationships to over 800 students. As for reception, the students are awesome! Participation level is great. The students get involved, they ask a lot of questions, and we get a lot of good responses on the evaluations they fill out at the end. One 8th grader last year wrote in an evaluation, “I’ve learned in this class that I’m in a violent relationship. As of today I’m going to leave my boyfriend.” And another young man said, “Thank you for coming and teaching this. My dad used to beat my mother, and I don’t want to be like my dad.”
At the end of the class I always ask how many of them know someone who is a victim of domestic violence, or are victims of domestic violence themselves, and a majority of the students raise their hands.
The education program was very hard when I first started, many times I’ve done presentations and had young ladies sitting before me with tears rolling down their faces. I have had to keep my composure, I always know who in the group is being affected by what I am teaching. I know by the expressions on their faces, by the way they react. I’ve gotten terribly sad looks, and I’ve gotten some looks that simply “I don’t care what you say.” So I make sure to bring it home that none of them have the right to put their hands on each other in violence.
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How can people who read this help Shepherd’s Door?
First of all, refer people in need to us so we can help.
Next, promote Shepherd’s Door to everyone you know, and support the cause! Donate through our website.
People with expertise can volunteer to teach support groups. You can take a domestic violence counseling class and learn how to counsel. (We provide these training classes.) We are starting a mentoring program in hopes of the support victims of domestic violence need. We will be seeking mentors.
And finally, organize a fundraiser. I’m always looking for good fundraisers!
*** indicates that part of the interview has been edited out for this medium. You can read the entire interview at www.prcsca.org.
